I am married but think I am Gay

gay and marriedMarried But Realise You Are Gay ?

Some LGBTQ+ do not realise or accept that they are gay or lesbian. Although they have an inkling that they prefer the same-sex, they deny this and enter into straight relationships. If you are reading this you may be someone who has done this.

Are you married but realise you are attracted to the same sex?

You may love your wife or husband, and you may even have children but deep down you know you have desires and fantasies about being with someone who is the same sex as you. This is a tough situation to be in. You may have hoped that marriage and having children would help you bury those feelings you are ashamed of. You may have hoped time would lessen those desires but they haven’t diminished have they and now your feel at a loss or trapped.

Happiness is only possible when you are able to be yourself. Denying who you are was only going to cause problems.

You are not alone!

Please accept that your feelings for same-sex attraction are perfectly normal. Also know that you won’t be the first husband to have fantasies about being with another man or wife who wants to be with another woman. There are many many people who have been through the dilemma of your situation and found a way through.


The Question is What Do you Do about it?

coming out gayIf you continue as you are, you will never be happy. You may end up having affairs with a same-sex partner secretly. You may find yourself living a double life. This strategy might work for a while. Soon though you will feel so guilty that it will lead to depression or you will be caught out. You can only cover up for so long before your wife or husband starts to suspect you.

The only path that will eventually lead to happiness for you and your wife or husband is to admit to who you are and what you need. BUT DON’T do it without seeking some support. Coming out (ie admitting you are gay, lesbian or bisexual) needs careful consideration.


Coming to Terms with being Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual

gay therapistI am an experienced and professional LGBT+ personal therapist and coach. I went through my own “coming out” experiences and know what it is like to finally face up to the truth; your truth. I can help you navigate your way through this and get to a happier place. I have been in practice of over 22 years and have strong associations with the charity Derbyshire LGBT+. I have also provided therapy for users of London HIV support centres.

Discreet Private Free Consultation

I run a discreet private therapy practice in Heanor. Our sessions are confidential. I give a free 30 minute no-obligation consultation. I also provide Zoom and Skype sessions.

Just email me Steve Harold at info@therapists.lgbt or call me on 01773 436796.

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